Potty Mouth

Reverse Sewage System to Power UK Homes

2009-06-17T02:14:00.000-07:00

In Manchester, England, they've figured out a way to directly poop-power homes with biomethane gas (converted from city sewage). The gas is pumped directly into people's homes! That's right, kids...you flush your poop down the toilet, and then they send it back to you! Craaaazy!

Reverse Sewer System to Power Homes in Manchester

Solution for Pee Splatter

2009-06-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

Not sure how many guys are actually going to be willing to kneel when they pee simply to avoid splatter, but this invention does have that Japanese pop culture cuteness factor going for it...linked page is in Japanese, but I think you kids at home can figure it out...

Japanese Kneeling Pee-Splatter Avoider

His and Hers Toilet

2009-06-05T16:43:00.000-07:00

Now this is some futuristic shit (pun fully intentional): a toilet that converts between a urinal and a sit-down. Although within getting too graphic, even with this advance in science I foresee no end to the age old gender wars due to problems results from the seat up/seat down dilemma....!

Futuristic Toilet is Both a Sit-Down and a Urinal

Website Tells You When to Pee

2009-05-23T17:51:00.000-07:00

...in the middle of a movie, that is! Runpee.com will provide you with exactly the best moments in a given movie to step out for a few minutes to the bathroom, so that you'll miss the least important moments in the film. Not bad...as long as you don't have to poop!! Heheh, I didn't say it, I didn't say "poop"...

Runpee.com

How to Poop in Space: Part II, The Nitty-Gritty

2009-05-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

From the often annoying tech-blog Gizmodo comes a very practical useful musing, from a guest blogger who's done time on the Space Shuttle, on everything you've ever wanted to know (and some stuff you probably didn't want to know!) about how to poop and pee in space, from Mercury to the Shuttle. Disgustingly fascinating!

How to Poop in Space, Part II

Dog-Shaped Poop Composter

2009-05-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

From our ever-creative, eco-minded friends in Japan, we have this snappy little practical item for $900 US: you put your food and pet poop into it, and it produces compost for your garden! Oh yeah, and it's shaped like a dog...though we don't think it will mind if you throw your kitty or hamster poop into it as well. And if you can't tell, we're going for a record number of instances of the word poop in a single post. How'd we do?

Dog-Shaped Poop Composter from Japan

Elephant Poop Camera Catches Cute Lion Cubs in Action

2009-04-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is the cutest use of elephant poop--or maybe any poop!--that we here at Potty Mouth have seen in a while. They hide a camera in a pile of elephant poop to snap secret pictures of adorable lion cubs at play. Brilliant!

Secret Ele-Poop Cam Shoots Lion Cubs

House of Shit

2009-04-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

You know the slang term "brick shithouse"? Well this story is about building your house out of bricks made of shit--literally. Anything for conservation, folks...

Living in a Shithouse

Spiffed-Up US Version of "Squat and Smile"

2009-04-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

Harrrumph! This toilet don't look so revolutionary or ergonomic in any new way to me...and I'll bet this high-falutin' all-blue space-age construction from one of my former employers (Arizona State...shudder) costs a lot more than a good 'ole "Squat and Gobble" (Sit and Smile) like you can get all over Asia for a...er....smile...

Asian Squat and Smile Design Passed Off as Futuristic Toilet

Potty Mouth Episode 13: Dude, Where's My Sink?

2009-04-16T12:19:00.000-07:00

That's right, kids...it's a brand-new edition of Potty Mouth (tm), and this one's not even from the archives, it was produced last November as part of the MAC Reunion Special! In this episode, Bong and On investigate a California studio apartment with, shall we say, a "nontraditional plumbing arrangement."

Tweeting Your Farts on Twitter

2009-04-14T06:37:00.000-07:00

Here's one I bet you kids at home haven't run across yet, despite the booming (heheh) popularity of Twitter these days: some genius has rigged up his office chair so that it automatically tweets a report of his workaday farts on Twitter. If you'd care to follow him--though, heheh, not too closely, we hope!--see the link below. Likewise if you'd like to build your own fart-detecting Twitter chair.

Follow the Farting Office Worker on Twitter

Build Your Own Fart-Detecting, Tweeting Office Chair

Toilet of the Future Here Today

2009-04-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, all you Potty Mouth fetishists: check out this sleek and smooth baby! And make sure to read the accompanying literature; besides mandatory comfort features like seat-warming (about time we caught up to the Japanese!), this unit features things like "washlet cleaning functions" ("You can pick from different washes such an oscillating wash or a soft wash, and also select if you wish to use the air-drying feature"), "Clever CeFiONtect glazing and a Tornado Flush"...sign me up!!

Toilet of the Future

Soccer Player Reprimanded for Farting

2009-04-08T07:35:00.000-07:00

Talk about weapons of mass destruction! In England, a soccer player (they call them "footballers" over there) was given a penalty warning by a referee for farting! Next time, I'm sure he'll remember to use his silencer...! heheheheh

Soccer Player Warned for Farting

Dog Poops Out $400

2009-03-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

We've heard stories like this before, but this one is noteworthy because of the overuse of bad poop (and other) puns by CNN, heheh...oh yeah, and one of the comments on the YouTube posting of it: "I only watched this because it's about poop." We here at Potty Mouth know what you mean, buddy. We know what you mean.

$5,000 Reward for San Fran Porta-Potty Arsonist

2009-03-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

The Clorox Company has offered a $5,000 reward AND a year's worth of cleaning supplies(!) for information leading to the capture of the Porta-Potty Arsonist who's been terrorizing San Francisco's movable outhouse community.

What? You didn't know about the Porta-Potty Arsonist? Check out these links:

One of Many Stories on the Porta-Potty Arsonist

Google Map Mashup of Torched Porta-Potties

Odor-Eating Pants in Space

2009-03-23T05:22:00.001-07:00

Ever mindful of easing the tensions of living in close quarters with other biological units for long periods of time, NASA has seen fit to address the fact that said biological units--otherwise known as humans--tend to emit various noxious smells from the groin and butt region from time to time. And hey, I didn't say it, I didn't say "fart" or "sweaty crotch smell," heheheh.

So they invented these crazy britches here, which a brave astronaut is testing out on this very space shuttle mission:

Odor-Eating Space Pants from NASA

Hand Dryers of the World

2009-03-21T14:57:00.001-07:00

This is sooooo Potty Mouth! This guy has created a Flickr set of hand dryers from a wide range of public restrooms. And we approve.

Hand Dryers of the World on Flickr

Ski Slope Toilet Scares the Poop Out of You!

2009-03-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

Ah, the Japanese...what will they think of next? Talk about attention to detail... From Coloribus.

Japanese Ski Resort Theme Bathroom

Farts Are Funny!

2009-03-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, they say on the website that this is a "kid using a fart machine" during the city council meeting...and yeah, we assume the two blonde-headed boys laughing are the culprits...but I mean, how do we really know?! Thanks to Erik Davis of Deathpower for the link.

Kid Uses Fart Machine During City Council Meeting - watch more funny videos

Have Your Poop and Eat It Too: Taiwan Restaurant Update

2009-03-04T05:31:00.000-08:00

Last September, you Potty Mouth fans might remember this item about a toilet-themed restaurant in Taiwan...well, it seems that they've expanded now, to many other cities!

There's a lot to see on their website, but we'll start you off with this menu page, featuring poop-shaped soft serve (what else?) chocolate ice cream, served in bowls that look like our old favorite type of Asian toilet, the "sit and smile"... Thanks to The Farang Speaks 2 Much for the heads up!

Taiwan Toilet Restaurant Expands!

Drink Your Own Pee

2009-02-28T08:53:00.000-08:00

This was originally developed as part of an art exhibition...but, um, I THINK it's real...

Bottoms up! As it were...

Drink Your Own Pee Kit

IKEA Litter Box

2009-02-24T08:50:00.000-08:00

I'll bet IKEA didn't even know they were in the cat poop disposal business! I like the way the inventor of this added a towel for the cat to wipe his paws when he's done burying his poops...very thoughtful.
From Ikea Hacker.

Hacked IKEA Litter Box

Potty Mouth Episode 12: Nakano Station, Tokyo

2009-02-21T18:34:00.000-08:00

The latest episode from the vault of Potty Mouth classics has now been uploaded...in this installment we [quickly] examine the public restroom outside a subway station in Tokyo.

New Device Helps Women Pee at Urinals

2009-02-18T12:56:00.000-08:00

Hmm, I never thought they needed a special apparatus or anything to do this...? But here you have it, a new "attachment" being marketed to help women use the urinals in men's bathrooms...

Mind you, I haven't been able to find any photos of the actual device...

Device To Help Women Pee in Urinals

Norwegian Buses to Run on Poop

2009-02-06T12:12:00.000-08:00

Heheheh...let's hope the exhaust isn't extra stinky because of all that pickled fish they eat...!!

Poop-Powered Buses in Oslo

Artistic Poop Machine

2009-02-03T13:50:00.000-08:00

Heheheh...that's right kids, this is ART! (well, I do agree with that, actually): a giant machine that, when you "feed" it food scraps, does exactly what the human body does with food...makes it into poop! Brilliant! Via Designboom blog.

Giant Poop Machine is a Work of Art

$70,000 Ring Retrieved From Toilet

2009-01-26T07:33:00.001-08:00

Hmm, you'd think if they could afford a ring that expensive, they'd eat at a fancier restaurant than the "Black Bear Diner"...

$70,000 Ring Fished Out of Diner Toilet

Clean Your Toilet with Coke!

2009-01-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

We've all heard the urban myth about how you can dissolve a human tooth by soaking it in Coca Cola, right? Well, this one's apparently true: you can use everyone's favorite abrasive, acidic soft drink to clean those scary-looking ground-in poop stains out of your crapper!

How to Clean Your Toilet with Coke

Christmas Poop among the Catalanos

2008-12-08T13:59:00.000-08:00

This is so great, I never knew about this: apparently in the Catalan tradition in Spain, in all nativity scenes there's a figure taking a poop behind the baby Jeebus! And the figure is often made to look like a current political figure. Read more about this and more poop-related Catalan Xmas traditions on this post on the wonderful blog I Let My Fists Do the Talkin':

Catalan Pooping Nativity Tradition

And there's also a mention of it on the Wired website:

The Caganer

Kid Kicked Out of School for Farting

2008-11-23T19:21:00.000-08:00

Man, those must've been some stinkers!! Talk about Weapons of Mass Destruction... And not only was he suspended, he was apparently ARRESTED!

Kid Kicked Out of School for "Passing Gas"

Vibrating Toilet Seat

2008-11-18T08:16:00.001-08:00

No kids, despite the language in the article title for this story, "Local Man Creates Vibrating Toilet Seat," it's not an Onion joke story (shades of "Area Man"), this is real: this guy creating a potty seat that vibrates in order to "stimulate" the user...hmm. Well, to each her own, I guess...

Vibrating Toilet Seat

Japanese Poop Museum

2008-11-05T12:11:00.000-08:00

Oh boy, are you Potty Mouth fans gonna love this! A whole museum devoted to poop! You can look at it, you can learn about it, and best of all, you can say "poop" and not get in trouble! Excruciatingly well-documented by Babelhut.

Japanese Poop Museum

George W. Bush Memorial Urinal

2008-10-31T18:07:00.000-07:00

As most of you adventure clubbers know, we here at Potty Mouth (tm) usually steer clear of politics, but we just couldn't resist spotlighting the latest piece by artist Clark Sorensen: a George W. Bush urinal! Hurry and pick one up, San Francisco residents, and maybe you can have the singular honor of sending your pee through the Presidential Potty straight through to the proposed (renamed) George W. Bush Sewage Plant, on the ballot next week in the City by the Bay. It's a positively poetic thought!

George W. Bush Urinal by Clark Sorensen

Ultra-Realism from Japan

2008-10-30T07:43:00.000-07:00

Hmm, this is the kind of graphic art we don't need to see in the morning... It's a poster telling people to scoop their dog's poop and...well, you can see for yourself. That ain't special effects, folks.

Courtesy of the wonderful blog Tokyo Mango.

Ultra-Realistic Japanese Curb-Your-Dog Poster

French Man Sucked Into Train Toilet

2008-10-28T07:36:00.000-07:00

A guy on a high-speed train in France dropped his cellphone into the train's toilet. Not thinking about--or not knowing--the fact that those toilets have an automatic flushing mechanism stimulated by the presence of, er, objects in the toilet bowl (heheh...I didn't say "poop"!), the guy reached in for his phone, the flusher kicked in, and his arm was trapped in the toilet bowl!

Follow the link below for all the gory details. We are reminded, of course, of two somewhat related stories: the infamous obese woman supposedly stuck on the airplane toilet (investigated later by Mythbusters, as reported here by Poop Report), and our own classic Potty Mouth episode, "Bowls on the Go". Though luckily, we didn't stick any appendages in the (admittedly low-tech) Thai train toilet. Oh yeah, and we would be remiss without a Trainspotting reference as well (see photo above)...

Man's Arm Trapped in Train Toilet

Another Potty Mouth Episode Online!

2008-10-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

That's right kids, yet another classic episode from the Potty Mouth Archives has been unleashed. In this 2002 classic, On is on her own (as it were) in Tokyo, where she visits her friend Dave and gives us a tour of his high-tech Japanese bathroom.

Remember that you can download the entire Potty Mouth Colllector's Edition DVD (tm) here as a disk image. It contains not only snazzy "interactive menus" (don't you love when they list that as a "feature" on all DVDs?!) and all Season One and Two episodes, but also secret extras you can't get anywhere else, like Potty Mouth in Laos 2005 and the fabled "Ancestral Crapper" episode, banned in Syracuse.

Direct Link to the Potty Mouth Episode 11

Fart and Lower Your Blood Pressure

2008-10-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

It's all here in this latest study (by scientists, using mice, so it's gotta be true): your stinky farts may help to lower your blood pressure. Great news for many Americans, who have high blood pressure because they're overweight, and have stinky farts because they eat so much junk...

Stinky Farts May Lower Blood Pressure

Sit or Squat

2008-10-22T14:34:00.001-07:00

This is exciting: a much-needed website not only telling us where the public restrooms are, but whether they're actually worthy of lowering one's butt to the seat!! And now, soon to be an iPhone App!! The title kinda reminds us of a classic Potty Mouth Episode, too.

Sit or Squat

The Butt-Sprayer vs Toilet Paper Debate Rages On

2008-10-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

Today, we have this lovely essay from the blog Utter Insanity on the important butt-sprayer vs. TP question that has plagued humankind throughout the ages (you know where Potty Mouth weighs in on the debate!), with a link to yet another interesting article on the subject within the blog article. The writer also mentions something I hadn't really heard of or thought about before--though it makes sense that it exists--"moist toilet paper"! Check it out and decide for yourself.

Butt-Sprayer vs. TP vs. Moist Toilet Paper

Poop Power for the Future

2008-10-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

As we're always telling you here on Potty Mouth (tm), the secret to "green" power of the future is the limitless energy of our poop...proven here once again. This time they're thinking of using sewage as a kind of battery:

Sewage-Powered Fuel Cells

Cat Flushing The Toilet

2008-10-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

No, not just one, a whole bunch of them! A whole bunch of cats, that is, flushing a whole bunch of toilets. Two of our favorite things here at Potty Mouth, united at last! And dig that crazy They Might Be Giants-style music! You can't go wrong!

Here's the direct link

"Everybody Poops": Political T-Shirt

2008-10-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

Just in time for the upcoming US presidential election, the folks at Threadless T-Shirts have a special poop-themed little number that covers the bases for both major parties.

"Everybody Poops" Political Party T-Shirt

Futuristic Toilets

2008-10-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know about the design of these futuristic bowls from a Russian design competition, but I'm diggin' those crazy colors... From Yanko Design.

Futuristic Russian Bowls

One-Handed Toilet Paper Dispenser

2008-10-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

Leave it to our friends the Japanese, potty-mouths (and potty-minded) that they are (and you know I mean that in a totally positive way!) to come up with the latest advance in low-tech toilet paper dispense mechanisms. Though I don't know about you folks, but I already only use one hand when performing my toilette, as it were... From Diginfo.

New Advances in Toilet Paper Dispensing Technology

Optimal Toilet Paper Length: A Scholarly Analysis

2008-10-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

If you can understand British English, you may enjoy this "article" on professors coming up with an equation to compute the ideal length of toilet paper required to remove all of the "poo" from one's "backside". Cute.

Optimal Toilet Paper Length

Fish in a (Working) Urinal

2008-10-07T07:19:00.000-07:00

Now, we reported to you last month about the aquarium flush-tank toilet, but this one is a bit much...kinda cruel to the fish, I'd say! From Wired for Strange blog.

Chinese Restaurant Keeps Fish in Urinal

Outhouse Racing

2008-10-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Well, we've seen the jet-powered outhouse, and this weekend in Virginia City, Nevada, they held a potty-fest complete with outhouse races! Potty Mouth approved!

Outhouse Racing in Nevada

Put Down That Toilet Seat!

2008-10-02T07:49:00.001-07:00

C'mon guys--just like your wife or girlfriend is always telling you. And NO, it's not so they don't accidentally sit down on cold, piss-covered porcelain in the middle of the night (eeewww!), this time it's to save the environment.

Seems the Japanese environmental protection agency has launched a campaign to get folks to put the toilet seat down...something about reducing CO2 emissions. Now if only we could harness all that methane gas...

Put the Toilet Seat Down and Save the Planet

Briefcase Toilet

2008-10-01T07:22:00.001-07:00

Continuing our movable toilet theme, check this one out: for the busy executive or traveling salesperson, I guess! Hopefully you won't leak poop or pee onto that important document you have to get signed by the client in Amsterdam...!! From Trendhunter Magazine.

Toilet-in-a-Briefcase

Toilets to Go--With "Dignity"

2008-10-01T07:15:00.001-07:00

Here's the latest in "green toilets" (and NO, I'm not referring to how it will look after you use it!): a portable toilet you screw into the ground, use for about a week, and then unscrew and move to a different location! Crazy!

Portable "Dignity Toilet"

How to Poop at Work

2008-09-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

I've actually seen this several places and I finally decided to post it on Potty Mouth. It's a little juvenile in that "guys coming up with euphemisms for pooping" thing that frat-boy types love to do (yeah, dudes got some issues!) but, if you can get past that aspect of it, it's actually quite funny in places, and certainly Potty Mouth-worthy, overall content-wise. And this is probably especially relevant for those of you unfortunate to actually have to confront "office culture" on a daily basis (I did, but for thankfully only 3 years of my 49-year life).

I lifted this off a discussion board, but I'm not gonna credit it. Things like this don't really have an "author" that you can trace them to...they're what used to be "photocopier folklore" or fax-circulated office jokes (researched by the great folklorist Alan Dundes, among others), now passed around by e-mail and Internet discussion boards. So without further ado:

The Guide to Pooping at Work (actually, more a definition of terms)

CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in an check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER A colleague who poops at work and is Doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

SHIRLEY TEMPLE A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a SHIRLEY TEMPLE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA-OMELET A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

AUNT BETTY A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever...Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An AUNT BETTY makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees

SOME VARIETIES OF POOP YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF~

The King Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop = You poop so much you lose 5 lbs.

Cement Block = You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your rear before it falls into the water.

The Crippler = The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Party Pooper = The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

Ilegal Wood Under Your Butt

2008-09-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

This New Yorker article (here in video form) documents the journey of wood obtained from illegal logging in Russia to the toilet seat you buy in Walmart. The solution? Buy porcelain (or whatever they're making old-style toilet seats out of nowadays! And at any rate, don't shop in Walmart.

From the Illegal Russian Logging Trade to your Potty

Police Seek Man in Theft of Urinal Parts

2008-09-29T07:44:00.001-07:00

Some guy in Sacramento, disguised as a plumber, has been going around to public restrooms stealing parts of the urinals! If it's a fetish of some kind, I don't wanna know about it...personally, I'm reminded of the guy on the TV show M.A.S.H. in the 70s, stealing an army jeep by sending it home, piece-by-piece...

Police Seek Urinal Thief

Poop Facials in LA

2008-09-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

You know, I hate to join the make-fun-of-vain-and-silly-rich-Southern-Californians bandwagon (I live in Northern California...believe me, there is such a bandwagon), but I can't resist today.

So you spend your life scurrying to where the sun is, to bask in it, to lay out in it, simply to walk in it (the very opposite of what most folks in Asia do, by the way), and then of course in a few decades, your skin is wrecked (if you're lucky...if you're unlucky, you get skin cancer).

So then what do you do? Go to a Beverly Hills spa and pay them $114-225 for a facial, which begins with them smearing bird poop on your face. I'm not making this up, you know...

By the way, they also put Russian (human) placenta on your face, for similar prices. But thakfully, that falls outside the purview of Potty Mouth.

Bird Poop Facials in LA

Fart Charges Dropped

2008-09-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

You know we're digging deep here on Potty Mouth when we link to Perez Hilton's blog...but what can I say? It's been a slow week for potty and poop-related news. Hopefully next week things will start "moving" again, heheh.

But we leave you with this follow up to a story I had never heard the first part of: apparently this guy gets picked up for drunk driving, and while being detained, the cops won't let him use the bathroom. So he farts at them, and they charge him with assault for said flatulent aggression. Hmm, must have been a slow day for them, too. Anyway, they've dropped the charges now...

Fart Charges Dropped

Modeling a Toilet in 3D

2008-09-26T07:54:00.001-07:00

Okay, this is for all you 3D computer graphic whizzes (heheh) out there: in case you ever wanted to model a potty in Maya, here's the tutorial for you!

But Potty Mouth is dying to know: what good is a toilet if you can't poop in it?!

Modeling a 3D Toilet in Maya

Windows Vista is in the Toilet

2008-09-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

No...I mean literally! Check out how they advertise Vista in Russia! From English Russia blog.

Vista in the Toilet in Russia (additional photos)

Drinkable Poop-Water in Wisconsin

2008-09-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read right, kids. A farmer in Wisconsin claims to have developed a method to strain the water out of his cows' poop (or is it strain the poop scraps out of the water?) to the point where it's safe for humans to drink the water. Note that the photo on the left is what's left of the poop scraps after he removes the water.

Hmm. Well, we at Potty Mouth have spent an inordinate amount of time drinking Wisconsin water, and we've always known it to be "hard water" which contain lots of particulate matter (that's mineral salts for you kids at home, NOT poop scraps!). And granted, the farmer in question doesn't want to start pumping his poop water into state office water coolers in Madison, he just wants permission to release the purified water into the environment...

Wisconsin Farmer Claims to Purify Cow Poop Water to Drinkable State

The "Otji" Dry--and Presumably Stinky--Toilet

2008-09-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

So this is what they're pooping in in parts of Namibia these days, which is a good thing, since they have a water shortage. We at Potty Mouth are all for being green (when we're not being brown!) and conserving precious resources.

But man, no water to dissipate the smell of your poop?! We are instantly reminded of the German-style toilet with its famed "inspection shelf". The inspection shelf also ostensibly exists to conserve water. But the longer the poop is in contact with the air, the more intensely it reeks. And man, in the Otji toilet they let the bucket fill for about SIX MONTHS!!

Read about and see photos of the Otji Toilet

All-Bran Subliminal Poop Commercial

2008-09-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

This is brilliant...amazing how far they went with the poop allusions. Wouldn't be surprised if, like someone said in the comments to this on YouTube, it really did get pulled off the air. Discovered via the wonderful I Let My Fists Do the Talkin' blog.

Original Video Source Link

Japanese Ejector-Potty

2008-09-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

A typical wacky Japanese TV prank involving a porta-potty. Man, this is cruel! Especially for the guy who had to go so bad, who they ejected in mid-poop! And perhaps even more disturbing than the setup of the prank overall is that they have a video camera inside the porta-potty stall...! Via Metacafe.

Japanese Porta-Potty TV Prank

Toilet Seat "Museum" in Texas

2008-09-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

Calling this a museum is actually a bit misleading, since all that's kept here are toilet seats designed by this one guy...which doesn't make the artwork any less interesting, of course! Potty-Mouth approved, let's give this guy the American Standard (tm) seal of excellence!

Toilet Seat Artwork Display

How to Poop, Japanese-Style

2008-09-17T07:51:00.001-07:00

All I wanna know is, how did I make it this far in life without ever seeing this video?! This is the true essence of the Potty Mouth philosophy: fun AND educational. Oh yeah, and all about toilets and poop.

Source Link to Japanese Toilet-Training Video

Powdered Methane

2008-09-17T06:38:00.000-07:00

Chemists in the UK (and no, I don't mean the guys who fill your prescriptions in the drugstore, for you British readers) claim to have developed a powdered form of methane (the very stuff of farts, though the methane they're working with comes from off the coast of South Carolina), for easy storage and dispensing as an alternative fuel. And no, this is not a photo of the powder, but rather of good ole household sugar, which is said to resemble the stuff. Can "powdered cow farts for natural energy" be far behind? Via Discovery.

Powdered Methane

Mac-Powered Litter Box Vent

2008-09-16T17:16:00.000-07:00

Sheer genius! This creative individual put his Mac Mini to work detecting motion in his cat's litter box (heheh...and we here at Potty Mouth know just what KIND of motion!), thus activating a fan to remove the offending odors. How refreshing. Via TreeHugger Forums.

Cat Litter Box Vent Fan with Mac-Powered Motion Detector

Israeli City Using DNA to Fight Dog Poop Menace

2008-09-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

This just in from Yahoo News: Petah Tikva, a city in Israel (great name for a city, btw) is tracking down scofflaw non-poop-scooping dog owners by analyzing the DNA in their pets' poop! Have they ever done this in a CSI episode?

Using DNA to Track Down Dog Poop Scofflaws

Fish Tank Toilet

2008-09-16T07:52:00.001-07:00

These things have been around for awhile--why, I remember staying at the charming and quirky Red Victorian on Haight Street in San Francisco, back in the late 1980s (where each room has its own theme), and using a fish toilet in one of the public bathrooms (not all rooms have their own). But for the benefit of you Potty Mouths who haven't seen one before, here you go. And just so we're clear on this: the fish do NOT get flushed down to the sewer with your poops. But they do watch you in the bathroom.

Fish Tank Toilet

Anatomy of a Potty

2008-09-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

Okay folks, here it is, probably way more than you ever you needed to know about your toilet. Warning for the queazy, lots of vivid color shots of individual toilet parts, not to mention cutaways and charts...! 211 slides of potty fun in all. From "How Stuff Works".

A Look Inside Your Toilet

Jet-Powered Outhouse

2008-09-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

Hmm, environmentally friendly and gas-powered, no doubt... via Unusual Things blog.

Jet-Powered Outhouse

Gandhi's "Ideal Toilet" Reconstructed

2008-09-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

From the blog Sigmund, Carl and Alfred, we learn that Mahatma Gandhi's fav toilet has been recreated in his home, after tourists inquired as to where the revered leader actually pooped (always a logical question, along the lines of "how do astronauts poop in space?") Also note that we here at Potty Mouth research labs, while we would never want to compare Gandhi to the genocidal murderer Pol Pot, cannot help but notice the similarity between tourist interest in the toilet of Gandhi and the toilet of Pol Pot, hmm...

Gandhi, we are told, saw the "modernization" of toiletry in India as a bad thing, as the master

"...believed in the “responsible” disposal of human excrement to avoid disease. His lavatory was constructed in such a manner as to allow waste to flow out to fields around his house."

Remember, however, that the Master reportedly also slept between nubile 18-year girls to prove his ability to withstand the temptations of the flesh....!

At any rate, read the original post (sadly, sans photos), here.

Three-Ply Toilet Paper to Debut 9/15

2008-09-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

A big day, no doubt, for those of you with sensitive butts: toilet paper just got softer.

Of course, those of us who are truly evolved use butt-sprayers...

Three-Ply Toilet Paper Available Soon

Cover Up Your Poop Sounds With Easy Listening Muzak

2008-09-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

The best thing about this product, "Toilet Tunes," is the ultra-cheesy video they use to demonstrate it. Because this is uptight America, they have to have a flaccid, noisy moisturizer bottle act as stand-in for what we all know they're really trying to portray: overhearing your date's noisy poop-sounds! And of course, the whole concept of covering up your greasy bowel growls with recorded sounds was thought up long ago by the ever-resourceful Japanese.

Still, Monday Adventure Club and Potty Mouth heartily endorses this new toilet-related product. And, like the video shows, you can sleep with it, too!

Toilet Tunes Video

School Principal Forces Students to Look Inside Bag of Poop

2008-09-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

I keep telling you, I can't make up stuff this good! Via UPI:

PEYTON, Colo., Sept. 11 (UPI) -- A Peyton, Colo., elementary school principal has apologized to parents and teachers for a "lesson" that involved students looking inside a bag of human waste.

Peyton Elementary Principal Michael Auclaire said Tuesday the incident Monday was the result of frustration he and the school's janitorial staff felt at the reoccurring messes in the bathroom frequented by fourth and fifth grade girls, The (Colorado Springs) Gazette reported Thursday.

He said the intention of having the children don gloves and look inside the bag of feces and urine was to help the children understand that it is inappropriate to defecate on the floor or toilet seats of the bathroom. However, he conceded that having the children handle the bag "was not the best thing to do."

"So today I went in and apologized to the kids, and I wrote a letter to apologize to their parents," he said.

Some parents questioned whether Auclaire, who started at the school this year, should be fired over the incident.

"I don't know if an apology is enough," parent Kerri Peters said. "How is he any better than the child who did this?"

She and other parents said no notices had been sent home about the bathroom problems prior to the incident.

Disposable Toilet Covers: A Philosophical Treatise

2008-09-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

Our top potty-related item today comes from the great blog Suburban Turmoil ("Wiping Ass and Taking Names") by Lindsay Ferrier. Her predicament, which I'm sure many of us have faced:

"...at 33, I feel I've established that I'm a reasonably intelligent person. If it turns out that I'm the only one out there who has trouble using a disposable toilet seat cover, I think I can handle the stigma.

So here goes. My name is Lindsay Ferrier and I can't figure out how to use a disposable toilet seat cover." Read More

Sambo the Elephant Caught in the Act

2008-09-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

...why, the act of pooping, of course! Almost live, from famous Wat Phnom in Phnom Penh...

courtesy of Deathpower blog (written by my very own student Erik!) by way of ThaRum.

Sambo Poops

Eat Out of a Toilet in Taiwan

2008-09-11T08:23:00.001-07:00

Yeah, that's right, there's a restaurant where you eat out of the toilet! And oh, so much more. Sorry if you've already heard about this one, but this is news to me. Here's a site with beaucoup still photos of the place:

Photos of Toilet Restaurant

And here's the source link for the video embedded above. Bon appetit!

San Antonio to Sell Farts

2008-09-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

Yes kids, it's true. The City of San Antonio Water System is going to sell sewer gas (that's methane to all you kids at home who missed the science segments on Monday Adventure Club) to raise a few extra bucks. Really. I can't make up stuff this good. Plus it's good for the environment--talk about recycling! Now if we could only harness all those cow farts that Reagan was always so concerned about...

San Antonio to Sell Sewer Gas

A Poop-Related Dolly Performance

2008-09-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

This charming performance was apparently done by real live dollies. I'll bet you never knew that dolly poop smelled like cheese! Ewwwwww!

Link

Fay Giving Out Free Toilet Frogs

2008-09-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

Tropical Storm Fay, that is! And she really is giving away tree frogs, delivered straight into your toilet. So look twice before you flush, Floridians...

Toilet Tree Frogs from Fay

Butt-Sprayers for Americans!

2008-09-09T09:42:00.001-07:00

Well, as all of you Monday Adventure Club (tm) fans know, we here at Potty Mouth are long-time fans of the butt-sprayer, which we've known and loved mostly through our Asian Travels.

And now, some enterprising soul is marketing this ingenious device to Americans! Check out the website for a cheesy, TV-style video to boot...

"The Biffy," A Butt Sprayer for Americans

Poop-Shaped Chew Toy (for Dogs)

2008-09-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

Hmm, I guess if you like dogs, give 'em what they want... Oh, it squeaks, too.

Squeaking Poop Chew Toy

Message from a Finnish Toilet

2008-09-08T09:53:00.001-07:00

Yes, folks, even the toilets of the world are learning English...

via passiveaggressivenotes.com

Message from a Finnish Toilet

Skull Toilet Brush Holder

2008-09-08T09:44:00.000-07:00

Hey, goths gotta clean their toilets too, you know!

Skull Toilet Brush Holder

Fall Fecal Fest in Seattle!

2008-09-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

Um...make your travel reservations now?

But seriously...genuine Seattle Woodland Park Zoo poop is on the market! Courtesy of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

Fall Fecal Fest

How to Poop in Space

2008-09-07T16:39:00.000-07:00

That's right, kids, the answer to the question all of us have asked since time immemorial, courtesy of a real-live NASA expert...via the San Francisco Examiner.

How to Poop in Space